First Consultation

Hey all!

So today, I was supposed to go to Duke Medical Center to have seminar consultation for the gastric bypass surgery that I am supposed to have. I really don't know how to feel about it honestly. I really want to lose weight so I can be liked better, but I don't want to risk myself for surgery. I have seen many success stories, but then I heard of some that were not so lucky. I mean, to have surgery at age 18 for morbid obesity.....that's bad. The one thing that is weighing over me in favor of the surgery is the chance to live. I don't think that people really know how hard it is for obese people to live and function in society properly, especially with this size 2 world. Like I was watching the Devil Wears Prada and thinking to myself that Miranda would never hire me b/c I was big. Big isn't fashionable. I agree, it's not. It's really the confidence that matters in the long run. If a girl that has a perfect body has low confidence, she can think that she is fat. And well, you know, look at me. I have to be as confident as Mo'Nique to be okay and I know in my heart that she has some issues. Well, like my Conversations in Diversity teacher told us was that you trade one problem in for another.

I wonder if being ridiculed and excluded is a problem I would trade for being happy for a change